In the past week I've spoke to at least five people on "planting seeds" in people's minds. Whenever we come in contact with people who might not have the same aura or air of happiness or maybe their ego is turned on, we have a lot of mental choices we can make on how we respond, act, and go on with the conversation (or not). But at the end of the day, we have thousands of conversations. In those thousands of conversations you have an active option in all of those to plant a seed in someone's mind of these options: positivity or negativity. What will you spread to the next person?
I'd like to preface this mini workshop blog with this, if you are having a bad day, this seed can still be positive. This negative or positive charge we give people is not contingent on whether our day is going good or bad. This negative or positive charge is something that is already inside of us, and something that you can retrain your inner "charge" to be. I once had a negatively charged mind, but I learned how to rewire my mind to be and spread positivity. This gave me HUGE benefits. I have a positive friend group now, and probably 10 times more friends. I have a better job, more opportunities, so much. And ya know what? You can too.
It's really easy to be negative. It's effort to be positive. This mental shift is just as possible as these things you've probably learned before: learning to riding a bike, learning to read, working out, learning to cook, etc. It's a learning process. It's also okay to mess up.
SO- with that being said. Let's get into the nitty gritty.
1: An argument or coming to an agreement. Is this person negative? Is their ego turned up? Do they have an attitude or are being extra loud or even extra quiet? Start here. The best thing is to not excentuate their negativity by inviting that in to your mind. If you can, try and invite positivity into their mind. Try and use these keywords: "I understand where you are coming from, I think _____". or if that doesn't apply here are some more examples of ways you can plant this seed.
"I want to make sure you feel supported and fairly treated, how can I help?"
"I want you to walk away from our conversation feeling validated and happy."
I want to make sure you are treated kindly."
The important part of planting the seed of kindness is that you make sure they know you
a) want them to feel valid.
b) want them to feel fairly treated.
c) you want them to walk away from the conversation feeling better than they came and happy.
2. A regular conversation. Okay. You know walking in to this that this person might be a gossiper or has a regularly negative outlook. PLANT THE SEED EARLY. This will let them know you are not willing to shift the conversation to negativity. You start the conversation. Here's some tips on how to.
a) Compliment- "You look great today!" or "It was so kind of you to do ____" does not have to be about looks. It can be about anything. This starts the conversation with a seed of kindness. They will not be as likely to gossip or spew negativity if they are shown how you are going to act and where you stand in the conversation early.
b) Gratefulness- "Thank you so much for much for meeting me here" or "I appreciate ____" or "I'm grateful you were able to ___" whatever matches your scenario. This gives them a sense of accomplishment, which plants a seed of motivation to match your energy. It's like they did/accomplished something, even though they really didn't. But it helps push them to compliment the next person, then the next and next.
c) Smile- The conversation doesn't have to be long. This is something you do to quick interactions. Smile when you walk by someone. Smile when you meet someone for the first time. Smile when you wave goodbye. Smile to people when they look like they need a hug.
Planting that seed of kindness will hopefully spread over and over again. All with just that conversation you were going to have anyways. The interaction that was already going to happen, is now an invitation that can be continuously passed on. It started with you.
As always love & light. Go spread your kindness.